Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
