Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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