This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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