I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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