Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
