she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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