How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
