The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
