Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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