last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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