id be glad to
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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