whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
