my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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