glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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