Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
