Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
