Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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