I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
