Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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