Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize