The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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