My friends, they love my intelligence
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
