A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
