she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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