so that wasnt chicken after all
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she peed on how many people?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
