and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
