Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
