I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
