Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
