I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
