Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
