Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
