I skipped work to stalk him.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
