Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
