i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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