According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
