Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
