Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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