hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
