I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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