wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize