we're blogging at a bar
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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