Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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