I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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