This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
