God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
