listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
