Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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