hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
