I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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