i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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