i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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