I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
