Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
