just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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