guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
