haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
