You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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