wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
